What a mountain of luggage - for 'one or two days'.

That's the trouble with handing out your contact details at a paella party. There is a chance someone will take you at your word and turn up on your doorstep.

Apparently, I suggested that Simon should come to London. I can't remember much about the paella night at all. It's a bit of a haze. I think I was pretty good at doing the flamenco dancing.

He's already blocked up the hallway, annoying the neighbours upstairs, and irritated the dog, who has lost her pitch on the sofa. But he's a GREAT COOK. So who cares. Plus he says he'll definitely find somewhere else to stay in 'one or two days'.