I thought my place was a pigsty with Simon on the sofa. But Gemma has taken leave of her senses and moved into Jake's 'den' to save money for their business venture.

What a dump! It reminds me of my student days. Washing up from 1964, no sign of a hoover and more people per square metre than Waterloo station.

It must be said, they are paying next to nothing and having a lot of fun.

Gem doesn't even seem to have the vaguest idea how many people live there. Some are permanent. Some are staying with friends. Then there's the friends of friends.

Simon on my sofa is small inconvenience in comparison. I hardly notice his luggage anymore, Stix has adopted the chair, and I'm getting used to having a great cook around.