Stix is going to be a world traveller. She's having her rabies injections, so we can go on a road trip round Europe.

Not this summer though. Getting a pet passport is a complicated procedure. It takes about nine months in all.

The vets is now our second home, which is fun for Stix, who thinks we only go there for attention, pats and a chew. She doesn't have to foot the bill.

First chew - for having microchip put in.
Second chew - for main rabies injection.
Third chew - for rabies booster.
Fourth chew - for blood test.
Fifth chew - upon collection of documentation.

Total cost to me of five chews = £200

We'll probably never go anywhere. Because by the time Stix is given the go-ahead, the car (an old banger but full of character) will have broken down.

At least, in theory, Stix will have the freedom to roam.

In France, dogs get a better deal, I reckon. People take them in shops and restaurants.

When I went to Toulouse, I trod on one. It appeared from nowhere while I was buying shampoo in Monoprix and sneaked under my foot.